The world bought me a Coke.

I’m sitting here sipping on a can of Coca-Cola.

It’s the first Coke I’ve had since watching the fantastic ending to my favourite TV series: Mad Men. Ever since seeing that ending, I’ve not been able to get the sweet taste of Coke out of my mind.

 

“I’d like to buy the world a Coke” has really resonated with me over the past couple of weeks. I’ve had the song on repeat and even told myself I’ll download it and listen to it whenever I’m feeling nostalgic about Mad Men. It’s a song that makes me happy and gives me a sense of belonging; I’m sharing this Coke with millions, maybe even billions of people around the world. That’s a really special feeling.

 

When I took the first sip from this can I’m currently drinking, I had a magical Coca-Cola induced flashback to a memory I’ve never told anyone. It was too strange to share and too hard to believe, but like people all over the world do with their can of Coke, I’m going to share it with you.

 

It was 3:30am in Canterbury during the summer of 2014. I’d been on a night out with my friends and decided to get the last train home. Just my luck – the last train home wasn’t until 5:30am, so I had a few hours to kill at the train station.

When I arrived there it was empty and wet. I was sweaty and hot from all the dancing I’d done that evening and really needed to cool off. Fortunately for me, there are two vending machines on my platform. Unfortunately for me, I only had £11.00 in my pocket.

With no shops nearby to break a tenner and get some change, I took advantage of this empty train station and began pacing the length of it to find some change on the floor. After hours of wandering around picking up pennies, jumping down onto the tracks and going through shrubbery and dirty drains, I managed to gather 50p in change. I remember the last 20p I found was shinier than any coin I’ve ever seen in my life. I was on top on the world at 4:45am, happy in the thought that I’d found just enough to finally quench my nagging thirst and drying mouth.

I figured £1.50 was enough to get me a drink and a snack, but who knows with these vending machine prices. It turns out it was the perfect amount for a single bottle of Coca-Cola. I stood there in front of this vending machine contemplating its vast selection, listening to a mixture of machinery humming and birds singing in the soft morning light. There was a small row of three Coca-Cola bottles, uniformly straight, all staring at me.

As I scan the line of Coke bottles, I notice something unbelievable.

“Share a Coke with Stuart” it said. My name, there in front of me, basking under the vending machine light making the Coke bottle seem angel-like. I couldn’t believe it. I’d spent two chilly hours sifting through drains, jumping on train tracks and rummaging in bushes to muster up enough change to buy a drink, and I’m presented with a Coke that has my name on it.

This may not seem very special to anyone other than me, but it’s the first and only ever Coke product I’ve seen with my name on it. I worked in Tesco filling shelves with every type of Coke available, but never once saw my name. I thought the chances of being alone at a very busy train station are incredibly rare. The chances of gathering up the perfect amount of change to buy a drink are very lucky. The chances of Coke bottles in the vending machine having only my name on them seems unbelievable. I felt the same way Don did in the above picture.

So I put my dirty change into the machine, grab my Coke and knock back as much as my body allows me to guzzle. In hindsight I wish I’d muttered “It’s the real thing” after my guzzling was done. So I took a seat, stared at this dream-like bottle with “Stuart” written on it, boarded my train and headed home with happiness in my hand.

The world bought me a Coke.

How Would Don Draper Cope in 2014?

If my calculations are correct, Don Draper would be 89 in 2014. Who’s to say he’d even be alive? At the rate he smokes and drinks, I’d be surprised if he made it past 60 years old. Even that could be pushing it.
But if we can boil down his boozing, adultery, and chain smoking habits, and we imagine a healthy 89 year old Don Draper, what would we have?

Would he be retired? There’s no doubt in my mind he would not be working at the tender age of 89. His attitude was driven and dedicated towards business, but he also showed resentment, stress and unhappiness towards his work and colleagues. I imagine he would have retired quite early on in his 50s. With up and comers like Peggy Olson, Pete Campbell and Ken Cosgrove, his advertising agency would be left in very capable hands at whatever age he chose to retire. Campbell Cosgrave & Olson has a nice ring to it, right?

Married? Lets be honest, probably not. With society’s attitude towards debauchery and affairs in 2014, how would he ever get away with it? The man is a compulsive cheater who can’t help himself. The evidence that Mad Men gives us about Don’s many relationships with women is that he always drives them away. In season 4, during his phone call breaking up with Faye Miller, she says “I hope she knows you only like the beginning of things“. While in this particular situation she is referring to Megan, it is a pretty good summarisation of Don’s relationship with almost every single woman in the entire Mad Men series.

Where would he live? Now this is a tough one, because I have three places in mind:                              

1. The house he and Megan lived in during seasons 5 & 6. This is unlikely, because a retired and old Don Draper would have no reason to live all the way up on the umpteenth floor of a skyscraper apartment building. It’s just not wise for the elderly. What if the elevator were to be broken one day? How would he then get up all those stairs? He is smarter than that, so therefore I think this option is very unlikely!

2. In New York somewhere, possibly a flat like the one he lived in during season 4. This option is 50/50 for me, and the reason I say that is because Don could-well have zero money in his old age. We know this from comments Betty made about his attitude towards money. Also the way he handed out large amounts of cash to Midge and Pete would suggest a lack of care for how he spends. So this option is only likely on the premise he has run out of money, which I think for a successful and clearly wealthy businessman, is unlikely.

3. In California where Anna Draper used to live. This is my personal favourite, as I remember how peaceful Don looked when sat on the porch and mentioned how he could smell the ocean. For a man with (potentially) a lot of money, this would be an ideal place to live out the rest of your days.

What would he look like? Now lets all admit that Don Draper is a handsome man and he’s has never had an issue seducing women. He is smartly dressed for every occasion, well groomed, clean shaven, tall, dark haired, rich and successful. What woman wouldn’t want that in a man? But let’s not forget that his hypothetical age of 89. I imagine a man with very little hair, possibly bald on top, grey streaks, lots of wrinkles, reading glasses, a classy walking stick, possibly a beard, and definitely some false teeth from all his smoking and drinking. Not quite the stud he used to be, but still very well groomed and handsome I expect.

Technology: I read a similar article to this once and it toyed with the idea of Don Draper in the 21st century, but it dealt more with him being the same age as he was in Mad Men – so basically, Don Draper aged 40 in 2014. I remember the article mentioned something about how he would definitely own an iPhone/iPad to conduct business with clients. Whilst I certainly agree that he would if he were 40 in 2014, I disagree that he would have any technology at all as an 89 year old. What old person do you know today that is technologically sound? My grandparents are barely able to navigate email, and they’re in their 70s. Don is an ‘old fashioned’ guy (ha), and thinking of him being a tech savvy genius at age 89 just isn’t something I’m able to imagine. Although I think he would enjoy photography!

This post is becoming a lot longer than I ever intended it to be. I’ve barely scratched the surface of possibilities with Don Draper in 2014. I’d love to hear some comments on how you imagine his life to be. Like what is his relationship like with Sally, Bobby and Jean? With Betty, Megan, Peggy, Rodger? Does he have any pets? What alcohol does he drink now? Favourite music? What car would he drive? Give me your thoughts!